Hello-

I am Pam W, and I have been asked to share my experience, strength and hope in attending prior Milwaukee Area Intergroup OA conventions. Sadly, I will not be able to attend this year’s gathering. Please know that I will hold each of you attending in prayer and that your Higher Power is guiding you to be there and all that you learn and experience. 

I have been a member of OA for over 25 years. Early in my Recovery, I’ll be honest, conventions were difficult for me. I felt so much guilt, shame and embarrassment around my weight and my eating behaviors. My thinking was so distorted, that it was difficult for me to let in the loving kindness and understanding around me. I compared myself to others, and instead of finding hope in others’ sharing of how they had experienced recovery, I felt ‘less than’ my fellows. I will say that at each of these conventions, there were always 1 or 2 individuals who reached out to me, listened to me, and were kind and loving to me. This love felt healing and I began to open myself up to the idea that others were like me and I was like them. Hope perched in my soul, at least for moments.

As time went on, I became much more comfortable, began to do service at conventions, and have even co-chaired 2 conventions. I had fun and felt totally a part of OA. The biggest joy has been connecting with new and long time friends. That has always been my favorite part- individual connections within the bigger group.

I need to share on the most powerful convention for me.  It was 2015, and I was in the midst of a serious relapse. I was so low and hopeless. My sponsor never let me go, and I thank God for that on a daily basis. I was on the phone with my sponsor the day before the convention was to start. As I was driving, sobbing my guts out, I was completely a mess of a train wreck. Was it odd, or was it God that I found myself driving past the Sheraton Brookfield, the venue of the next day’s convention? Exasperated, I couldn’t imagine walking into the convention. How could I possibly hold my head up amongst all those recovered people when I was bingeing my brains out??? As I related these thoughts to my sponsor, I cried out…’what should I do….????’ In the most kind and loving voice, that Dear Woman said to me….”Well….maybe you’ll hear something…” 

I went. I was greeted by love, hugs, a saved seat, and I found it in me to stay. I sat down and listened to the first speaker. She told my story….word for word….and then, the story shifted. She spoke of freedom- freedom from food and freedom from self hatred. She shared her journey of the actions she took and the miracles that led her to allow God to do what she could not. I was blown away! COULD THAT HAPPEN FOR ME??? That was March of 2015, and I found abstinence in late October 2015. So, I say to each of you, “Maybe you’ll hear something…” Even more profound my Dears….maybe you’ll say something that will give hope to another….I don’t remember who that speaker was, but she said something and I heard it. It grew and has blossomed into a gift of a life I truly never could have dreamed of. May it be so for you. 

Blessings…

Pam